Last January (2017) I was supposed to go to Guatemala for 2 weeks.
But a week before I was to leave my doctor confirmed that I had gallstones and advised against international travel (this experience in of itself was incredibly mystical, a story I will share in the future!)
I already knew deep down that I didn’t want to go. So I cancelled it. Ironically this was not the first time I had cancelled a trip to these lands.
Instead I felt a deep call to go ‘home’ – back to where my feet first touched the ground.
I had not been home to Saskatoon Saskatchewan for over 6 years and the last time I went I was still an employee of the federal government (on mat leave) and I hadn’t yet answered my calling as Priestess & Healer. I was in full on mom-mode and didn’t have the capacity to listen to anything beyond my the needs of my babies.
This time, I knew deep down inside that this was a spiritual pilgrimage home, back to myself and that I had to go alone. Beyond that, I had no idea what I would find.
At that time I was in a very tender place of deep healing of childhood trauma and I needed to connect back in to where it all began, to where I began.
I thought it was going to be hard, I thought it was going to be sad, I thought it would be heartbreaking.
But once I landed on my home-land I felt the most expansive sense of joy and belonging.
I felt like the land reached up and enveloped me in a deep embrace welcoming me back.
During my time there I had no agenda, instead I followed my inner wisdom, allowing it to guide me each day.
I ended up retracing my steps, spending time in front of each home I had lived in (there were MANY), going back to my schools and favourite places. In each spot I simply sat and allowed myself to feel the space around me and allow whatever memories or emotions that needed tending to to arise. I wept, I laughed, I played and was filled with deep awe and reverence for this magical process that was unfolding.
I even reached out to my old high-school friends and had a chance to reconnect and spend time with them.
I shared with them my wounds that I was trying to make sense of and they listened with open hearts and so much compassion. Our connection reaching back through time to when we were so young and innocent.
As the days went by, what struck me the most were the trees. I had a deep sense of them remembering me. They had known me since I was born. With each step they seemed to smile down at me, whispering, we remember who you are, who you have always been.
And I remembered them.
As I retraced my steps I remembered key moments of a younger self who felt deeply, who was spiritually connected without even knowing. I remembered ceremonies I unknowingly held to help people cross-over after dying. I remembered my deep love of the land and my communion with the trees.
I realized that Priestess was not something I had become, it was something I had always been, I just didn’t have any words or context for it.
It was the most exhilarating homecoming of remembrance and full recognition of who I am and how I am meant to serve.
And though at that time my heart was still in pain & healing, I felt the exquisite joy of deep soul connection to myself through time, back to the infant, the toddler, the child, the adolescent, the young adult, who has always been wrapped in mysticism and deeply connected to the Divine.
Today as I write I can feel the land in my bones, the recognition & the reverence it holds for me.
This is not the only time that a particular land has called to me, nor will it be the last. Each time I have answered this call it has been deeply healing, nourishing and revelatory.
The land remembers and when it is time, the land will call you home. It will activate and awaken you, it will heal and soothe you.
Have you ever felt that pull to return to your roots? To the land where you first entered this world?
Or perhaps you’ve felt a pull to a different land even if you’ve never been there before? Perhaps you’ve felt compelled to travel to Peru or Mexico. To Egypt, Ireland or France. And you brush it off as a dream, a someday.
I am inviting you to take pause and feel into the ‘dream’, the desire. Give it more consideration than before. Chances are that there is a piece of you waiting to be reclaimed from another life, another time that does not need to be understood or rationalized by the mind.
These callings are not to be ignored – they are there for a reason, calling to you, beckoning you back home so that you can remember lost aspects of yourself and awaken to who you truly are.
You are supported in this life in more ways than you can even imagine.
Plant your feet onto and into this Earth and listen to Her wisdom and Her resonance within your soul and heed Her calling when it comes.
