It has been a little over a year since I launched my website and started my blog and almost a year since I walked away from it into radio silence – it lasted all of three months.
I have considered returning to my blog so many times, each time with a knot of anxiety in my tummy. Instead of tuning into that anxiety and feeling it through, I looked the other way. As I write right now, the knot is there, but this time I am not walking away.
I am watching SuperSoulSunday with Oprah and Alanis Morissette. An artist I have always admired for her vulnerable direct lyrics as well as her spiritual awareness. And I am inspired. I am ready to out myself.
I am in the process of really owning how I want to serve in the world. I have a calling to reach out and connect with women and to be a part of their spiritual transformation.
Huh? What?
This is the piece I have struggled with, the piece that has kept me from fully pursuing my dreams and my blog, from blocking my desire to connect with others. What does it mean to be a Spiritual Teacher? To be a Healer? To be a Priestess? Can I still be of this world if I embody these archetypes? Will people accept me? Will they get it? Will they listen?
Listening to Alanis bare her thoughts and emotions around spirituality gave me the nudge to out myself. I am a spiritual junkie. I crave that deep connection with my soul, with my body, with the world around me. But it can all feel overwhelming at times, it can feel the opposite actually – it can take me into a place of disconnect and solitude. The magnitude of my desire to live in a place of connectedness can lead me into fear and anxiety. The desire to numb is so seductive. To eat, to watch tv, to read, to learn, to work. I can get lost in these activities to the point that I really am no longer connected to that yearning, that deep knowing of what it is I am meant to do.
So here it is, my outing, my declaration:
I am a Priestess. I am a Spiritual Teacher. I am a Healer. My spiritual name is Ajaipreet (but you can still call me Maria if you want to :)).
For the past seven years my work has always been aligned with one mantra: Adi Shakti. I interpret this as the divine creative force of the universe. This is divine feminine energy. I have never openly talked about this, but I have scribbled and doodled it across all of my pages as I designed my website, worked on my offerings, worked on my copy. I thought: people will be scared off by this, people won’t get it, I can’t actually let them know what my intention is…excuses, fear, excuses, fear. So I have hidden the very essence of my offerings, the very essence of my being. I was (and still am to a certain extent) afraid. Afraid of rejection, afraid of alienation, afraid of not living up to expectations of Teacher, Healer, Priestess.
No more. F*ck the fear. I am outing myself – and I want to out you too. It is time to rise up to the challenge of feeling the fear, but doing it anyway. It is time to step into who we are and to kick the rest of the shyte to the curb. It is time to embrace our feminine essence and our divine creative potential.
So now we have some work to do.
I present to you, my authentic voice:
On Fertile Ground: Awaken to the Creative Potential of Your Soul
My offerings are for women who are ready to awaken to Adi Shakti. These are women who want to connect deeply with their bodies, to their intuition, to their feminine essence and to their soul. These are women who want to embody their truth and create the life they crave and desire.
The essence of my offerings is not changing so much, but I will be reconfiguring them and rewriting my messaging to authentically express this essence.
So come sister, let’s create a community and a world that is nurturing, supportive, meaningful and real. No more hiding, no more bullshit. Are you with me? Join me in the comments below – I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Much love,
Ajaipreet ~ Maria
